Dear Steve and Shirley,
Iโm a 52-year-old widowed woman, and I'm finding it difficult to meet a partner who can truly satisfy me. Iโve been back in the dating pool for six years, and Iโve slept with three men, but none of them measured up to my late husband. One came close, but he couldnโt last as long. By โmeasure up,โ I mean these men are in a different size class than my husband was. They were all younger than I am, so I jokingly assume God stopped handing out โbig onesโ after the 1970s.
I decided to date an older guy from my church who is 58. The sex was disappointing; he knows how to make love, but heโs not blessed with size. Heโs also a cuddler, and I donโt like the way he smells. His beard oils and body sprays irritate my sinuses, making it hard to relax when my nose is burning.
He keeps asking why Iโm resisting a relationship with him, so I finally told him that I want my next real relationship to be perfect because my husband set the bar high. He responded that since we were being honest, he wanted me to know heโs seeing another lady, but he likes me more. He thinks weโre perfect for each other and he could spend the rest of his life with meโbut he doesnโt want marriage. Instead, he wants us to live together. Heโs ready to take on all my financial responsibilities, and he told me that, at my age, heโs as close to perfect as Iโm going to get.
That whole conversation irritated me. But maybe heโs right. I desperately want to be married again, yet this man made a very appealing offer. Would I be foolish to let him go and keep dating other men, hoping to find my next husband?